by Rossana Condoleo


Being happy and fulfilled can be as simple as watching a nice picture inspiring good feelings, or a little more challenging like trying to improve or modify segments of our personal system of beliefs and behaviors. Self-development must be sustainable and pleasant, like I wrote in my books “HAPPY DIVORCE – How to turn your divorce into the most brilliant and rewarding opportunity of your life” and “FOR SINGLE PARENTS – A Guide to Happiness and Love”. I like to entertain while bringing something of value to my reader. I will post when time allows, not on a regular basis. I will also post some articles I write for third parties, when possible. If you subscribe, you will of course be automatically updated.

Now, can I really tell you something new? Everything has been already said, and the same things in a variety of flavors, to make them more appetizing. The difference is only in the way I experience and process something, and then come out with a story. Then, there is you and your own mind, your perception, your Self. When I give you information/stand-alone-picture instead of a story, the way you use it to start new processes in your life is unique, since unique are the connections which you use to get from A to B, or to get from zero to one hundred. Give a penny coin to two people in separate rooms and tell them: “This is one penny. What do you tell me?” Hanna will connect the coin to the first time she received money from her Grandma. John will say that he used to play Pitch and Toss with his pals as a child. Then ask them “What do you do with one penny?” Hanna will make a hole in it and hang it on her chest as a pendant necklace in memory of her Grandma. John will put it into his pocket, as he used to do – proud of the win – when he played Pitch and Toss. Sometimes, I offer effective pre-packed connections in my writings, so that you do not have to create your own and go astray. In those cases the concept embedded in the story will go through your perception and will remain intact because it is so acceptable and obvious that you have no other choice than taking it for granted and turn it into personal achievements, results which you can measure. And you know what? This is not a product of artificial character; it turns out to be a completely natural process brought about by inspiration. Inspiration is the intersection point between heart, mind and universe.

I ask you only one thing as my reader – of books, articles, jokes or whatever I may find interesting to post: to be open-minded. A change for the better sometimes implies abandoning old “wrong” beliefs. Some wrong beliefs can so tough to die or oppose so much friction, that conveying new positive concepts might turn out to be hard or even impossible without using strong connections. I am desolate when I offer something new to try and I get a “No, thanks, this is not my thing!” as a reply. Unless you are allergic, or that before your eyes is a Red Savina Pepper, it is just reasonable to accept and test. My daughter does that really often, and it is typical of children in her age to oppose a firm “NO” by stating their own opinion/position/authority. Among adults, it might be also a lack of time, or fear, or a deliberate resistance to new beliefs. In reality, it turns out to be a very limiting attitude, especially if it is repeated. Accepting to try a bite of something, does not mean that we will like it. We just try it! When you say: “No, thanks, this is not really my thing!” before even trying it, you stop your world from taking extra color.

Back to connections, I use only positive ones, those that open up to us a world of possibilities, such as, for example:

life happiness
goals fun
discipline love
ethics future
sustainability structures
experience author readers
readers experience author
self-development dreams, etc.

Connections help us better than any other means to turn concepts into new beliefs. Strong connections must be ready to use, liquid, able to penetrate any matter. We should have a lot of respect for the social role they cover and build a memorial before the town hall: “To our dearest life connections, since they made us better,  richer and happier people!”

Let’s see how connections work… Hanna and her husband John are very religious and they do not accept anything which can even blend their religious dogmas. Hanna and John need contraception methods, otherwise they will end up being unable to feed all their children. How can we convince them that contraception might be against their religion but represent indeed “the ultimate solution” for them and all mankind? We could try by connecting religion ↔ discipline, and suggest that her and her husband adopt a natural contraception method based on avoiding sex during fertile days. Nothing simpler! Nonetheless, there are somewhere around one hundred million street children and more living in starvation inside their own families. Their parents were presented no such connection or, when they were, this was not strong enough to blend their beliefs. No strong connections…that must be the reason! Where people are offered strong connections, new beliefs exist and solutions are possible. Read how “Couples are being urged to opt for Tata Nanos rather than babies” in Rajasthan, India! If we cannot erase from the Bible (not a bad idea, though!) the sentence “Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth and subdue it” (Gen 1:28): man’s responsibility for life”, connections can do the job. Connections can be ethereal and material as well. And the more real (experienced as true) they are, the more powerful and stronger they work. So the connection of the anti-baby car.

Using strong connections to anchor new beliefs in our subconscious reaches its peak results when we need to “think positive” to compensate imbalances in our reality. I connected my divorce with happiness, success and rewards instead of passively accepting it like the most sorrowful and nerve-wracking experience of my life. This helped me not only to cope with the stress of divorce, but also to re-define my whole life upon my original purposes and my dreams. It worked wonders! Simple strong connections trigger the biggest positive changes and produce incredible visible and tangible results without much effort. During the process, do not pretend to master every and all situations with control and poise, though. Ask and expect the best from yourself but respect the Human Being in you!

I wish you a happy and fulfilled life!


Rossana Condoleo